Will Penn's Remarkable Concession Bring Back The Bucks?

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As reported over the weekend in The Chronicle of Higher Education, University of Pennsylvania President J. Larry Jameson reached an agreement with Education Secretary Linda McMahon that would restore the $175 million in funding the Trump administration withheld on the ground that Penn was not excluding transgender female athletes from women's sports. Jameson has agreed "in principle" to rename the institution the University of Trumpsylvania. Trump then posted on Truth Social: 

I AM HONORED THAT THE WARTHON SCHOOL, WHICH I GRADAUTED FROM AND IS THE BEAST IN THE WORLD, IS GOING TO BE PART OF THE UNIVERSITY OF TRUMPSYLVANIA. THE FEDERRAL $$$ WILL NOW START FOWLING TO THIS GREAT COLLAGE.

Renaming the university founded by Benjamin Franklin to restore "only" $175 million in federal funds might seem like a bad deal for the University Formerly Known As Penn (UFKAP). After all, Penn renamed its medical school upon receiving $225 million in 2011. Adjusted for inflation, that's about $318 million in today's dollars--and that's just for the medical school. To rename the entire university for a donor would ordinarily require a donation in excess of half a billion dollars. Seen in this light, UFKAP got a bad deal.

But focusing on the $175 million alone is short-sighted. By agreeing to the renaming, UFKAP got that money restored, avoided further cuts in the future, and also avoided the sorts of sweeping programmatic changes to which Columbia University recently agreed. Seen in this perspective, renaming the university looks like a bargain for UFKAP.

Indeed, events yesterday seem to vindicate UFKAP's approach. Reportedly, at least two other universities in the president's cross-hairs are considering seeking similar deals. According to an anonymous source, Columbia Acting President Claire Shipman--who recently replaced interim President Katrina Armstrong, who only a bit less recently replaced President Minouche Shafik, who lasted a full year in the job--was huddling with top advisors workshopping potential new names for the university attended by Alexander Hamilton. Possibilities include Coltrumpia University, DonaldTrumpia University, and King's College.

Meanwhile, the same anonymous source reports that University of Virginia President Jim Ryan has offered to resign from his formal role leading the institution founded by Thomas Jefferson to allow Trump to assume the job, at least ceremonially. "If he can chair the board of the Kennedy Center," one influential UVA alum was heard to say, "why not a university where some very fine people study, teach, and research?"

Not everyone is on board with UFKAP's renaming gambit. The account @Quaker4Life.bsky.social posted on BlueSky that: "Trumpsylvania sounds like a place that produces vampire-themed porn," adding down the thread a pointed question: "Are we sure we're even getting the $175 million back?"

That's a good question. Columbia's capitulation hasn't yet resulted in the unfreezing of its over $400 million in federal funds. As of this morning, UFKAP also has not had its $175 million unfrozen. Apparently, Trump told Secretary McMahon not to unfreeze UFKAP's funds until she could verify that the "signage" on campus was "appropriately respectful." It is not clear how quickly UFKAP will be able to change the "Pennsylvania" branding to "Trumpsylvania" or replace the three Franklin statues on the UFKAP campus with Trump statues.

Despite these concerns, at least one other institution is moving with alacrity to emulate UFKAP. Yesterday, the law firm of Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom announced that, effective immediately, it was changing its name to Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump & Trump.

— Michael C. Dorf