The Twelve Days of SCOTUS on Earth One and Earth Two
EARTH ONE
On the first day of SCOTUS, Brutus said to thee, the Supreme Court will be awful for our new country.
On the second day of SCOTUS, John Marshall said to thee, I'll make up a law and pretend it violates article III.
On the third day of SCOTUS, Justice Taney said to thee, Black plainitffs cannot sue under Article III.
On the fourth day
of SCOTUS, the Court said to thee, Congress cannot stop private racial discrimination constitutionally.
On the fifth day of SCOTUS, the Court said to thee, the
right to contract trumps legislative authority.
On the sixth day of SCOTUS, FDR said to thee, the Supreme Court is destroying our plan for the economy.
On the seventh day of SCOTUS, the Court said to thee, segregated schools are illegal but states may use them temporarily.
On the eighth day of SCOTUS, the justices said to thee,
abortion rights are a constitutional necessity.
On the ninth day of SCOTUS, conservatives were feeling worn,
so the Federalist Society and originalism were thereby born.
On the tenth day of SCOTUS, the 2000 election was too
close to call, so the justices ruled for Bush and Iraq took the fall.
On the eleventh day of SCOTUS, the Court invented a new gun right, a big part of our current violent plight.
On the twelfth day of SCOTUS, the Roberts Court showed its loyalty, by giving Donald Trump almost complete immunity.
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EARTH II
On the first day of SCOTUS, Brutus said to thee, life tenure and strong judicial review are deleted permanently.
On the second day of SCOTUS, John Marshall said to thee, Marbury can’t be a judge because the statute gives me no authority.
On the third day of SCOTUS, Justice Taney said to thee, Black folks must be able to sue under Article III.
On the fourth day of SCOTUS, the Court said to thee, Congress can stop private racial discrimination constitutionally, so Jim Crow never came to be.
On the fifth day of SCOTUS, the Court said to thee, the right to contract does not trump legislative authority, so workers and unions were provided more safety.
On the sixth day of SCOTUS, FDR said to thee, the Supreme Court is good for the economy.
On the seventh day of SCOTUS, the Court said to thee, segregated schools are illegal and compliance begins immediately.
On the eighth day of SCOTUS, the justices said to thee, abortion rights are a necessity to be sure, but they must be protected by the legislature.
On the ninth day of SCOTUS, conservatives were not feeling worn, so the Federalist Society and originalism were never actually born.
On the tenth day of SCOTUS, the 2000 election was too close to call, so the justices allowed Florida to decide and make the call.
On the eleventh day of SCOTUS, the Court rejected a new gun right, making it rarer for people to engage in a deadly fight.
On the twelfth day of SCOTUS, the Roberts Court showed its partisan humlilty, by denying Donald Trump constitutional immunity.
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Happy Holidays to one and all.